How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
