so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
