is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it hurts more in the daytime
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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