I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
