We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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