i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
