dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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