So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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