Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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