remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
