this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
