You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I had to cum in my sink.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
