it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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