okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
