well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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