Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
