Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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