i already hear my dad disowning me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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