I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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