New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
