Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
