dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
