I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
