My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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