Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I smell stomach acid.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
