went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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