I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
