yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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