Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
