So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize