Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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