So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
