It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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