it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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