I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
