Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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