Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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