everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
