This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
