so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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