He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You pole danced in your parka.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize