I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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