yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
