So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
