Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
being pregnant is like rehab
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My vagina is very pro this idea
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize