i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
