ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
