I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
