i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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