just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In America we eat man semen.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
