Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
