I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
