I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
