I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Drunk is not a location!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
