her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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