What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
