yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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