I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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