Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize