I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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