she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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